Here I am!

5 March 2017 –

Hi!

Did you think we fell off the face of the Earth? 

Yeah, we kind of did disappear.  I'm not quite sure I'm ready to reappear yet either. I'm still feeling bitter and angry about the transition.  I ought to lie to you and tell you it's been a piece of cake and being back in the USA is absolutely fabulous but that would be the biggest lie of all time. Although, to be fair, it's not ALL that bad. Just some days – make that most days- I feel mad and homesick for a distant land.

I've heard from others that the transition back to your "home" country can be rough – more difficult than the moving overseas transition.  You know what?  They're right. So I'm giving myself a break.  I'm letting myself to be upset (within reason).  I'm also not feeling sociable these days.  I prefer hiding out in our rental house daydreaming about the millions (okay hundreds??) of changes I wish I could make to our plain-old-boring Bristling Acres house.  We should be moving back into that rectangular box in July.  I know, I know…I should be grateful. Grateful for all the experiences we had while living in China – and I am.  I know the girls will carry that with them for the rest of their lives.  They definitely have a Bigger Picture perspective of the world than most American kids their age. Sadly, I think a lot of Americans still think that we live in this isolated bubble from the rest of the world. Here's hoping that the next generations of Americans (hello people from the Midwest!!!) will wake up and realize there is a big world out there and that the USA is only one country in that big place.  The rest of the world isn't a scary place.  As a matter of fact, it's exhilarating taking that first step out of the country and out of your comfort zone. Hey, if you can afford going to Disney Land or Disney World then you can afford a vacation in other parts of the world. You can't put a price tag on introducing your kids to other cultures, lands, foods, people, and a different PERSPECTIVE.  It humbles you in ways that you can't imagine. It also makes you realize that we are all just people. Open your minds …open your hearts. 

And with that I must say that I should open my heart to the USA.  

I'd rather not go into details why I'm so mad.  I will say that we had hoped to not return to the USA but as you can tell, that didn't work out. There are lots of other issues but I'll just stop myself right there.

So…I'm going to attempt to change topics now…

What are the girls up to right now?  So glad you asked!  Both girls are slowly settling into school in Platteville.  I think Annika seems to be adjusting to the new school faster than Ava.  I know Annika has made new friends but I'm uncertain about Ava.  They've also started taking taekwondo twice per week.  They love it!  They're also taking Chinese language lessons once per week. Annika is into drawing and painting, learning how to play the piano, and she's trying to delve into the world of physics (and sciences).  Ava loves math but I think her favorite activity is reading. She also enjoys tinkering and playing with her small robots. Oh!  Ava's other favorite activity is horse riding.  She started taking lessons three weeks ago and she absolutely raves about it!!  

I'm so happy that these after school activities have helped the girls adjust to life in the US. It also means that I'm now a Taxi Driver. LOL.  However, if it keeps my girls happy then I'm happy to drive criss-cross around the country! Plus, I can DRIVE MY OWN CAR!!!! Woooo hooooo!!!!  Being able to get in the car and drive wherever the heck you want and changing your mind and going somewhere else is just something that we didn't have as an option while living in China. (we weren't allowed to drive in China) That freedom is something I will not to take for granted!

(See?  I am slowly starting to sound more positive about living here, right????)

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I will share with you one fear that I have – I'm afraid that those five years living abroad will turn into just a dream.  I'm afraid that none of it mattered and that we didn't make a difference (to us or to the girls) at all.  I don't want to go back to the Old Me. That person is still there but she's changed…and she's afraid of changing back to the Old Me. Old Me was afraid of so many things that New Me now cautiously enjoys. I don't want to revert back to Old Me. 

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I do need to post photos of our last trips while we were still living in China.  I managed to squeak in several trips before our final departure.  I even got to hug a panda!